Auron's Secret Moonshine
by CazzaCat
Summary: When Rikku just wont leave Auron alone and she stumbles on his families secret! Please Read and Review! Warning contains scenes of insanity and drunkeness and bad singing...


Auron's Secret Moonshine!

An: Hey it's hardly my fault if no one knows what in his big white jug! This is not a RikkuxAuron fic either, THEY ARE NOT A COUPLE!

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**The Moonflow….**

'Can I see?' Rikku whined. 'Please?'

'No!' Auron answered as calmly as possible. Considering she had been bugging him since Djose about what was in the jug, he was doing well.

'Oh please? I won't leave you alone if you don't show me. Don't you know that teenagers are really curious?'

'Didn't you ever learn that curiosity killed the cat?' Auron answered grinding his teeth together, the stress really getting to him. It took every urge not to kill the cheeky little Al Bhed girl.

'What cat?' She asked looking around for the creature in question. 'Hey don't change the subject! Please!'

'No.'

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**Three Hours Later Guadosalam, The entrance to the Farplane…**

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

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**Three Hours Later Calm Lands Monster Arena…**

'Pllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasssssssssssssse?'

'NOOOOOOOO! Will you just SHUT UP! It's moonshine! My families' secret recipe for moonshine!' he yelled at her ripping a huge wad of his hair out. His good eye seemed to twitch with anger and his face was the colour of the bright red balloon she had gotten from Luca. 'I don't like Al Bhed women!' He heaved, looking like he was going to hyperventilate!

'Okay well you could have just said so in the first place…' Her eyes seemed to well with tears and she sniffled. 'You didn't have to yell at me either.' Rikku sat on the ground and pulled her knees up to her chest and rocked back and forth as she was crying.

Auron felt a sudden pang of guilt at making her cry. 'I'm sorry…'

She looked up at him, making her most innocent and cute face. 'You don't mean it!'

'Yes I do!'

'No you don't!'

'I do!'

'Not.'

'I do!'

'Not.'

'I do!'

'Not.'

'I do!'

'Not.'

'What can I do to prove that I do mean I'm sorry? I really hate hearing you cry it gives me a headache…' He whined at her. 'Please? I'll do any thing to shut you up!'

She sniffled a little more. 'Any thing?'

'Anything…' He said dropping to his knees and begging. 'Just promise me you'll be quiet?'

After a little contemplating she smiled. 'Let me drink some of it.'

'What?' Auron asked grabbing his jug and pulling it closer to him. 'No any thing but that.'

'I'll start crying again and loudly too.' She pouted. 'Besides I've never had alcohol before, daddy wont let me.'

He sighed, 'Do you promise to shut up? And not to get too drunk?'

She nodded. 'I promise.'

Reluctantly he handed her the white jug and pulled the cork out. The smell was disgusting and he was hoping that she wouldn't want to drink it at all, but she snatched the white jug off him. Before he could do anything she had started gulping down the rest of the smelly liquid. She managed to drink the entire contents of the jug just as he managed to get it back.

'HIC!' She giggled. 'Hey Auron when'd did you get two, HIC four heads?' She stood up shakily. 'OH Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. And it goes something like this! Second verse same as the first could get better but it's gonna get worse!'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Auron shrieked. 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up! 'Shut up!' He pulled another clump of hair from his head and kept screaming.

Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. Horse put his foot; put his foot on the floor. And it goes something like this! Second verse same as the first could get better but it's gonna get worse!'

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**Okay there it is, my mildly sarcastic fic about Auron and his moonshine! Also be nice I wrote this in about two hours so :-P and all who actually thought this was funny please review. Just one thing; This is not a fic about romance between the two okay! If you liked it then please review, any flames will be used to power up ifrit! ;-P**

**This is the pretty button you use! Tee hee!**


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